eek!

so i've fallen off the blogging bandwagon. whoops. i've sort of got stuck in a dry funk this last month or so. haven't wanted to write in here, write in my journal (in over a month! that's huge for me!) or read my bible. or read anything else for that matter. no wonder i've been so crabby lately. i'm not pleasant when i get stuck in these ruts. i get pessimistic, hopeless, grumpy, impatient...the list goes on. i look at what everyone else has and think that i will never have these things (a JOB, get married, pay off loans, you get my point). and i hate that. i look at other people's lives and think "if only mine was like this, or like that, i would be happy..." REALITY CHECK MEGAN! not true! side note-i don't really believe i won't ever have those things, i just get impatient.

so i'm jumping back in headfirst and digging into Him this week. i hate these dry spells where i don't feel Him around me. or constantly focus on other people's lives. i need to start believing that the promises of the Lord are true, not just for other people, but for ME too. He wants to bless me. i don't write this to sound self-centered, or focused on myself...but it's difficult for me to freely accept that the Lord truly wants to bless me and will follow through on His promises over my life. i pray these things over others all the time, but it's hard for me to wholeheartedly accept them and believe these things will come to me as well.

i really dislike how difficult it is to jump back in once i've put things off for a while. it doesn't make sense to me because of course i want to be spending time with the Lord again, be in the Word...but i keep putting it off. it's easier to sit down in front of a tv and not spend time journaling or reading. sad. no more though, my heart needs to jump in again and stay there. i don't like who i am apart from God.

poor trees

so i when i was running yesterday, i ran my typical 4 mile route and ran by this house that was cutting down a perfectly healthy, rather large tree!! i get upset when people cut down trees for no apparent reason. (granted maybe there WAS a reason, i just don't know it) so toooday when i ran the same route, they were cutting down the same tree on the opposite side of the house!! ahh!! i wanted to run up and ask what the heck are you doing?! maybe i sound like a major tree hugger, buuuut this really makes me angry! i put up a fuss when my parents cut down a tree in our front yard. i put up a fuss whenever my parents change anything from when i was a kid though (new refrigerator, new couches, etc. i know weird...)

anyways, i guess my post has no real point. but i do think God had a TON of fun creating nature and animals. seriously, how cool of a job does He have? He got to do whatever He wanted! Sure, humans are pretty, but not too much to play around with. but with flowers, plants, animals, He got to do whatever He wanted. i think God most likely has a big sense of humor :) see below!


i don't even know what this top animal is!

porcupines, how funny!

i didn't mean God didn't have fun creating us haha i just think He probably had so much fun creating all these creatures around us! can i get a hoorah for this amazing 80 degree weather we've had recently?! i love it.

its official!

i'm moving back to michigan! (who woulda thunk?!) i got the official ok from the big dietitian boss at children's hospital and i'm doing the pediatric fellowship there. i am SO excited to finally get the chance to work with kids! and for longer than a two week rotation. annd i can't wait to write a note and sign it with, Megan Comer, R.D. how exciting is that?! weird that i have letters after my name. too bad they haven't gotten me a paying job thus far...ugh.

i know this fellowship is a gift and i think i'm very blessed to be doing it because they are not publicly offering it since they did not receive any grant money this year. but the fact that i did not have to interview for it and am not getting paid one single penny to do it keeps messing with my head. which i know sounds stupid, but its how my head works. i keep thinking, oh this is a last resort because no one wants to hire me. BUT i know that this is where i'm supposed to be, as much as its not any fun to be working pro bono once again. it's what i want for my career and this will give me an excellent foot in the door when i try to get a peds position. and i prayed for clarity with what i was suppose to choose, and then i got rejected from all the applications i had out and was not offered the Akron position. pretty straight forward right? i was still mad at God though for getting rejected. funny how we pray for these things and when they aren't exactly what we really want or think we need, we get mad at Him. sorry God.

anyways, i'm starting probably one month from today and living with ryann's boyfriend john who's doing an internship at the dearborn police dept. ha! kind of funny, but it will work out well, i'll def feel safer living with him! off to watch new moon with tay tay :) so glad my family is home from vaca, i missed them a lot. happy easter!