Tuesday, December 14, 2010

creature of habit.

i'm totally a creature of habit. i like tradition, i like to go to familiar restaurants and vacation places. i enjoy watching the same movies over and over again. i love home. i have a hard time moving new places, would rather go to a restaurant i've been before (to get my favorite dish haha) and don't have a problem watching harry potter for the bazillionth time. part of the reason why i'm like this is because i struggle with change which makes life rough sometimes, but i enjoy the memories and warm, fuzzy feelings associated with the things i like and am used to. it's not that i don't want to try new things or go new places (ok, sometimes this is true), i jut enjoy having memories behing everything in my life. i love remembering all the times i've had in hilton head with my family. i don't want my parents to sell our house because that's where we all grew up together, it feels like leaving something behind.

liking tradition is one thing (and not a bad thing), but holding on too tightly is another. yes, i love the things in my life that remind me of the incredible family and friends i have and all the memories throughout the years. but i forget too easily that there are so many more memories to be made and things to be remembered. i get scared that my future isn't going to be as filled with great family, friends and memories that my past has been filled with and then i remind myself how silly this is and how big the God i serve truly is! i have no clue how i'm going to buy a house someday, be able to afford kids let alone take awesome family vacations, but i'm glad that that's all taken care of. i don't need to worry about it and that's a good feeling. will i still worry about it? yes. but at least i can start reminding myself to remember why i don't need to.

Friday, December 10, 2010

first quarter done!

so jordan is through one quarter of grad school! i can't believe it's done already, it really seems like he just started. but at other times it seems like it's been forever because of the constant workload he ALWAYS has and not being able to do much. i have been in the architecture world for long enough to know that grad school was not going to be a walk in the park. obviously it was worse for him than me, but it's still challenging. it definitely makes me appreciate more when we actually can do things together and appreciate the little things, even when he typically is working every night of the week. here's a top ten list of things i've learned being an outsider to the world of architecture through the years (i've decided to be a little creative this post!):

10. don't ask how much longer they have to work on a project. if they give an answer of 2 hours, it probably means 4 or 5 more hours of work. i think they like to be optimistic, but 90% of the time they don't get done in the amount of time they think they will. (i still ask J this question though...ha)

9. unless my future kids do not sleep when they are babies, i don't think i can comprehend the sense of pure exhaustion arch students feel when pulling 2 all nighters in a row and then having to give a review about their project right after. on no sleep.

8. i don't think you can be an architecture student (ungrad or graduate) and NOT like coffee. or some sort of caffeinated beverage.

7. no matter how early a project is started, it seems like it's never early enough and there is always some anxiety on how it's going to get done.

6. designing anything takes immense amounts of time. i no longer have the attitude of "oh, it's just a drawing (or model), you can whip it up quickly." that doesn't happen.

5. even though i don't quite understand it all, i've developed recently a huge appreciate for design in general, how it affects, influences and enhances the world around us, thanks to jordan.

4. you have to be an extremely passionate and dedicated person to pursue this field. i definitely see that in jordan and i love that. i think that spills into other areas of their lives as well.

3. i'm amazed at the vast amount of options you have to choose from in art stores. who knew there were 2837 different kinds of paints and paint brushes to choose from? i don't even know what half the stuff in those stores do. i wish i do though, they are pretty neat places!

2. i am fascinated by the creativity and artistic abilities that j has. it's amazing to me when he explains his projects to me (i try my best to understand) and know that he created it all himself.

1. apart from me being completely artistically challenged, i could never be in this field. it takes a special type of person to do it, and i'm not that special!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


whoops. it's been a while. you would think since all i do during the day is take care of the world's cutest baby, that i would write in here more often...but sadly, that's not the case. i doubt anyone is dyiiiing to read a blog update by megan though!

i'm looooving cincinnati right now. and being in the moment and feeling a lot of PEACE about where i'm at and not freaking out thinking about the future, a different job, you know...typical things that are usually always overtaking my mind and stressing me out. perhaps it is some of the holiday spirit settling in, but i have just felt overwhelmingly blessing and thankful the past few weeks as well...so thankful for my family, friends, jordan, making awesome memories with all these people, having the best home to go home to, and on and on.

if i let myself, i will think "some people my age have a house, kids, 401K plans, etc..." and i'm like AH! i'm never going to get there or catch up, i'm so behind. but then i remember the God i serve. who WILL provide these things when it is my time. and i have found a lot of peace in enjoying the freedom i do have right now not having these things yet. of course i'm looking forward to all those things (well maybe not having a mortgage, which is tricky to spell btw) and for those who are to that point in their lives, that's GREAT! but i'm not there yet...and i'm ok with that. i have always been one to compare myself to everyone around me and always (i mean always) comparing myself to wherever they are or whatever they look like or are wearing and i'm sick of that. it's not productive, and there is no benefit in doing that for me.

so anyways, i'm in a good place. and i'm happy about that. and i'm looking forward to harry potter this weekend, spending a week at home, turkey, poppyseed rolls, the lewis family, going to church, everett and starbucks date with morgan! and some shopping in there too!

Monday, November 1, 2010

holy moly.

holy moly, it's november! i know this sounds incredibly cliche, but time seriously flies by faster the older i get. i can't believe it's november and we're heading into another holiday season! it's been almost a YEAR since i got done with my internship. that's insane. (and yet to find a job related to my field haha) i'm so excited for the holiday season. i could type out a thousand different things i LOVE about this time of the year... thanksgiving, family, friends, fires, sweatshirts, sweatpants, hot tea, pumpkin spice lattes, blankets, socks, boots, buying that PERFECT christmas present for someone special (and getting presents!), the first snow, listening to christmas music way too early and on and on!

one of my best friends sent me this quote from a book (cold tangerines) and it's really been on my heart lately....

"when you decide to go on a journey with God, everything is interim...everything is interim. Everything is a path or a preparation for the next thing, and we never know what the next thing is. Life is like that, of course, twisty and surprising. but life with God is like that exponentially. we can dig in, make plans, write in stone, pretend we're not listening, but the voice of God has a way of being heard. it seeps in like smoke or vapor even when we've barred the door against any last minute changes, and it moves us to different countries and different emotional territorIes and different ways of living. it keeps us moving and dancing and watching and never lets us drop down into a life set on cruise control or a life ruled by remote control. life with God is a daring dream, full of flashes and last minute exits and generally all the things we've said we'll never do. and with the surprises comes great HOPE."

i am not good with change. i am not good with things being in the interim. i like plans and i like to write in stone. i constantly feel like i am waiting for things in my life to be settled. but thanks to the loving God i serve and the incredible friends and family i have in my life, i am constantly being gently reminded and encouraged to not settle for the set-in-stone plans i tend to make for myself. i love how this quote talks about the voice of God being as smoke or vapor, seeping in even when we've barred a door against change (which i do often).

i have felt very hopeful this past weekend. hopeful for this season i am in. hopeful for what God is doing in my life. hopeful for the exciting changes that have happened and will be happening in the near future. i pray this hopefulness is something i can continue to cling to. and i continue to learn and be at peace with this constantly shifting, ever changing life we're living. it's a work in progress.

Friday, October 22, 2010


please pray for my family today. i was reminded yesterday of how precious life truly is and how it can not be taken for granted. today i am clinging to the fact that we can't and won't always understand why things happen as they do, and as unfair as they seem, we still serve a good God. a gracious, loving and faithful God. i frequently have to remind myself that i don't see as the Lord sees nor do i understand as He does. and that we will not ever understand why some events happen in our lifetime here on earth. but He still is right there beside us walking through these hard times and He will be faithful through it all. pray for peace, comfort and healing.

i am so thankful to have such a close family. i couldn't ask for a better one.

let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. hebrews 10:23

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


whooa, two posts in two days. i'm getting ambitious. the babe is sleeping and i wrote about this in my journal last night, so i thought i'd share. i'm a huge fan of written letters...notecards, cards, notes written on notebook paper, handmade cards, you name it, i love it. cards just to say hi, to say thank you, to say i love you, anything really. i like them so much first off because i am not good sometimes at verbalizing my feelings, but if you were ever inside my head, you would see how deeply and passionately i feel about certain things, and my family and friends are one of these main things...so for me, writing people cards and letters is something i feel i need to do to let people know how much i care about them. that's why i journal too...i have to get what i'm thinking in my head out. so since i'm not good at talking it outloud and just praying in my head doesn't cut it for me, i journal. a lot. it helps me keep sane, seriously. i'm on my 11th journal since i was 18! kind of cool! (and slightly embarassing to read back through them) i hope one day one i get married and have a family of my own, they will be a fun way to keep track of milestones. and someday, when i'm LONG gone, i'll give the OK from up above for my family to read them. not until then though.

getting cards from other people also means the world to me. more than an email and definitely more than a text. there is something about written words, something about the time that person took out of their day to write something down to give to you. there's a lot of power i think in that. i have kept so many cards from when i was young. i have all of my cards i received when i was having seizures. i have all the cards my great-grandma wrote me when we were penpals before she passed away. i have the one card my grandpa, pop, wrote me right before he passed away which he says i love you in. these cards and letters are some of my most treasured things i have. they remind me of people that care about me, refresh my memory of hard times i have gone through and all the support i had through those times and how the Lord has stood by me through it all as well. with today's technology, i think we so easily forget the power and importance a card or letter can have in someone's day.

so, turn off that TV and computer and write someone a letter! i guarantee it will make their day! they always make mine!

Monday, October 18, 2010

race weekend!

this past weekend was the columbus marathon and jordan, tee, tay and her friend nicole ran it with me! it was jordan, tee and nicole's first half ever and it was so exciting! the weather was perfect. minus feeling like i was going to pee my pants the first mile and the race being SO crowded (15,000 runners ran this), it was excellent! it just makes me so happy to see people do their first race and know that i convinced them to train for it. for someone who doesn't run to think about running 13.1 miles seems IMPOSSIBLE. but really, anyone can do it. i really believe that...well i mean, unless you have a bum knee or something that physically prevents you from running. it's a total mental game. but crossing that finishing line and realizing what you just accomplished is such an amazing feeling. i was so thankful though i got to finish at 13.1...for sure did not want to keep going this year. next year though, bring it on marathon!

i got to see my best friends on sunday too after the race, i knew colby and simi were coming, but addy surprised jordan and i! such a perfect surprise. i hate how we're all so far away, but am so thankful for those sweet reunions we get every so often, even if they are short lived. i feel so thankful to have such perfect friends in my life. a lot of people have told me that eventually you'll lose contact with your college friends, but i've never even thought of that as a possibility. they are stuck with me, and vise versa for a long, long time. i've been so blessed with friends.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

three things.

so i'm struggling with not freaking out moving into this new place. i always have a difficult adjusting to a new place/moving somewhere, so i knew this would happen. just a matter of dealing with how i'm feeling right now and switching this doubt/stress i'm feeling into hope and excitement of starting out here and knowing i'm going to be here for the next few years. so i'm copying churchie's idea of writing three GOOD things from the day that i'm thankful/happy for. as much as i don't like to admit it, i tend to think more negatively when i'm stressed/freaking out. i'm working on it. so here it goes...

1. i absolutely LOVE the area i am living in, it is perfect to run in. it's got tons of pretty trees, lots of cool streets to explore with cool old houses. and most of all, TONS of fellow runners! i passed probably 20 runners today on my run and i love it. i love seeing people when i run. it makes me feel a lot better running, especially if i don't particularly want to go out and run.
2. i love love love the bebe that i am nannying for (and the parents). she is such a sweetheart. i feel so blessed to have found them...they have made transitioning to cincinnati so much easier and always am offering to do things for me. they are amazing.
3. my books...i unpacked all my books today (most of them) in my little apartment and realized how happy books make me. i know, call me a dork, but i LOVE them. i want a super awesome bookcase someday (or library) where i can put ALL my books in one place. that would make me super happy.

that's all for now. i'll try to update more frequently, but we'll see how that goes. i'm ready for cool, fall weather...hopefully the end of this week!

Monday, October 11, 2010

all moved in.

so i'm all moved in (furniture and all) to my apartment. or room...whichever you prefer. it's a little bigger than i thought it would feel with all my furniture (what little i have) in there, but it still doesn't feel like a place i'm going to be living in for the next year. i hope it will once i unpack and attempt to decorate a little and hang pictures up. i feel panicky when i'm in there though feeling like i do NOT want to live there for a full year because it doesn't feel anything like home...so i hope i feel better about it soon. i still feel like i made a good choice and it was a blessing with the price of it for now...and the location. as most of you know, i struggle with change, trying to embrace it more than resisting it though...i think my life would be a lot less stressful if i did.

my good friend and soulmate, morgan, gave me this quote which i really liked (even if it was from grey's anatomy!): it's the way people try not to change that is unnatural. the way we cling to what things were, instead of letting them be what they are. the way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. change is constant. how we experience change, that's up to us. it can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance to life. if we open our fingers, loosen our grip and go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline.

i'll post some pics once things get organized a little bit! on a funnier note, i've gotten a couple "congratulations!" when i've been out at starbucks with adele...people thinking she's mine! i just smile and reply, "thank you!" haha. i mean, i'm totally old enough...just not there yet. hopefully they think i've gotten back into shape incredibly fast though!! :)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

life in cinci.

so i've been trying to change the look of my blog, but i have realized i'm not very good at designing webpages even when they try to make it easy for you. so we'll see what happens. this is week number two of nannying and being down here. i feel like i'm settling into things and feeling less anxious about everything in general, which is a good thing for my well being, i tend to worry about too much. i've found a couple studio apartments that, although they are tiny, are within my price range and in nice areas. the one i am leaning towards is in hyde park and has GREAT areas around it to run in...which is something i really want, to be able to walk outside and just go for a run without driving anywhere. i think jordan may be sick of me talking about how the places i've looked at are good or aren't good for running in :)

i'm enjoying being able to hang out and do normal things with j! it's been so nice. we grilled out turkey burgers and grilled summer squash that we bought at a farmer's market today...it was amazing! and we ran 9.5 miles this morning. we have been running a lot downtown across bridges and by the riverfront which has been beautiful! i'm so happy he's sticking it out with me and running a half...it means a lot to me! i'm excited to start my second week with beautiful Adele, she is just so cute. is it possible to love her already and i've only been with her a a week?!

miss amber pagano, oops, i mean hildebrand, had baby Lily Anne this week and i'm just so stinkin excited for team hildebrand. she is absolutely beautiful and i'm so thankful she's here safely and is healthy. hooray for babies and the Lord's blessing of new life. it really is incredible how He creates new life and how He knows who these tiny little people inside and out even before they're born. i can't believe she's a mama...but she's going to be a fabulous mama and i can't wait to see Lily grow. she is so blessed. congrats you guys! love and blessings your way!

Monday, September 20, 2010

first day!

today was my first day nannying and it went so well! megan (the mom) stayed home with me today so i could learn adele's schedule a little bit more, so basically i just hung out with her all day and got to know her a little bit more. and she is hilarious, i love her! i got to hold and feed baby adele today too and she is just the cutest little thing ever. she was all smiles and laughs the whole time. the only thing is that she projectile vomits. a lot...which is gross, but i'll take baby barf over a screaming baby any day. megan drove me around the mt lookout area where they live and over to hyde park which is a great area! i was able to write down numbers of different apartments that were listed on signs in front yards...so keep your fingers crossed, i'm hoping to find a nice place in that area so i can walk places!

i'm feeling so much better about being here and the decision to move. finally really feeling hopeful about things. this family i'm nannying for has a lot to do with it, they are such a blessing. i also met a nurse practitioner who works in a neurology department at children's-exactly where i want to be! not that i'm looking for a job yet, i really want to focus on nannying for the time being and committing to this family for a while before i look elsewhere for a job. i feel like this blog is boring...hopefully i'll have some more adventures now that i'm in a new city.

Sunday, September 19, 2010


well i made it to cincinnati, i guess kentucky to be more specific. i met with a few apartment complexes on friday with not much luck. one was so-so, they other was yucky. i spent a little bit of time with the family i am nannying with and they showed me the house, where everything was, etc. the mom is taking monday off to spend with me to learn adele's schedule which will be good. she also offered to drive me around to look for apartments. they are so great! still stressing out a bit about finding a decent place that i can afford...trying to be patient.

i went to church today with brent (jordan's roommate) and met his girlfriend, elizabeth, and her parents. i was talking to elizabeth's mom who happens to be a nurse practitioner at cincinnati children's hospital!! she was telling me she works with spinal tubular defects (i think?) and she works with dietitians who do the ketogenic diet...and i said, that's EXACTLY what i want to do!!! i was telling her about my experience in detroit and how i love working with the neurology population. i'm hoping to follow up with her and maybe something will come of this down the road! she was going to find out who does the hiring in the nutrition department so hopefully i can send my resume directly to someone. pray please!

so anyways, God has already managed to surprise me and i've only been her a few days. i don't know why i'm so surprised, or why i freak out so much because He really does provide in every way possible...even when you have absolutely NO clue when or where He is going to come through next. nannying tomorrow and j comes back tomorrow night too! yay! i'm excited to get into the swing of things here.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

i'm back.

ok, going to give this thing another whirl. we'll see how it goes.

so i'm two days away from moving to cincinnati. for those of you who know me, i do not do well with change. and although i've been waiting for this (and praying) time, i'm sitting here in my sister's room amidst my failed attempts to pack, wishing i had another week at home. today i think it truly hit me that i am 98% most likely not going to be moving back home home. i'm moving to cincinnati for the next three years of my life. and after that, i will be married and moving somewhere else, with my own family and my own home. don't get me wrong, i am super excited about building my own family and getting married, but for right now, the thought of not ever living here in the only home i've ever known, is hard on this heart. and i'm really sad. i love the comforts of this place. even though i'd go crazy living here much longer, i enjoy being with my family. having tina and dave make me dinner and eating out back together with my puppies. i'm so blessed with the family and home i have. i'm going to miss it. a lot.

but...i'm ready for this new season that i'm stepping into. i really have felt for a while that i truly am stepping into something new and big. i think this is going to be an awesome time for jordan and i's relationship, being in the same place. it's time. and i know the Lord is in this and He is walking through this time with me. it's going to be exciting and new and an adventure with my best friend but it also feels like i'm closing a chapter in my life. obviously my family and home will always be there, but just not how i'm used to. i AM ready for this. and i can do it. it's just going to be an emotional next couple of days. surprise surprise! prayers are appreciated.

Monday, June 14, 2010


lots of things have happened the past couple of weeks! this past weekend was tay's graduation party and it was SO fun! my family from michigan and chicago all came and we had a BLAST. granted it was miserably hot and humid during the party...but aside from that it was perfect. baby adeline was here and we got to spend some time with her, most of have not seen her since she was itty bitty. i loooove babies!!! KIND of makes me want one...but not quite there yet. gotta get something first before i can think about that ;)

i have decided to move to cincinnati this fall (early september) regardless of if i have a job or not. i have been going back and forth with this and it has been a major stressor in my life. but i decided that i just can't move back home and get stuck there. cincinnati is where i want to be and if i have to get a job at starbucks until i find a job as a dietitian, i'm going to do it. i was freaking out about making this decision and asked God after i decided to move that a teeny tiny affirmation that this is OK for me to do, that He is still behind me in this move, would be MUCH appreciated. and i got it!!! i wrote on my facebook wall i was looking for a roommate and literally THAT night a girl i knew from miami wrote back and said she was looking for someone too! i met her through crusades and she's really nice. she was freaking out too about finding a roommate. THEN last night, she got forwarded an email from a friend that was from my bible study leader who had emailed a bunch of people asking around for a roommate for me. how crazy is that?? so i said, ok God. not that i didn't trust Him before, it was just nice to know i'm doing ok.

so my dear friend colby sent me this book called practical theology for women: how knowing God makes a difference in our daily lives by wendy horger alsup. it is EXCELLENT. you should get it and read it. i found it for $10 online (shipping included) if you want to buy it, lemme know and i'll give you the website!

"we have God's precious promise that He's going to work the hard things in our lives for our good, and part of that good is that we will be changed more and more to reflect Christ's character and glory. the trials and struggles we experience are like the refiner's fire under a pot of gold. the heat brings the impurities to the top to be scraped off by the refiner, leaving the gold in a purer form." pg 36

this is what i hope He's doing with me during this season i am in....

Monday, May 31, 2010

good weekend.

this weekend was perrrfect. jordan came up friday and i made a delicious dinner (well, i thought so, i don't know about J & john!)... here's the link for the dinner i made http://www.bhg.com/recipe/pasta/spinach-tortellini-with-beans-and-feta/. i love beans and i love cheese, so it was perfect for me! we got up early-ish saturday and drove to the st joseph/benton harbor area where jordan's uncle ernie and aunt julie live. i was not expecting how beautiful it was on the lake! i felt almost like i was in one of the carolinas! i told jordan, is it bad that i didn't know a place like this existed in michigan? haha. most of what i know of MI is detroit, and i don't like detroit :) we ate some delicious food and gelato and walked along the beach. so pretty!

we went to church sunday morning and met one of the oldest female graduates of Miami randomly, class of 1936! how crazy is that?! she was an adorable little old lady. ernie and julie took us then to a little bakery/restaurant near the park we were camping at and i got the most incredible cake cakes i have EVER tasted in my entire life. they were amazing. J and i headed to warren dunes state park afterwards and set up camp! in our tent finally! it was blazing hot, but we hung out at the beach all day (used half a bottle of sunscreen!), ate hotdogs & marshmellows over the fire, climbed sand dunes, played bocce ball and walked on the beach to watch the sunset. it was perfect.

we headed home this morning and a shower never felt so good! i'm not a super foo-fooey girl, BUT i do like my showers. and it was hard to get used to the nasty hole-in-the-ground toilets. eek. but i do love camping. and hopefully will be able to do it for longer periods of time this fall! jordan just left...super ready for a little direction here and some clue as to when this long distance crap can end. glad that this is a four day work week and i get to go home this weekend.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

wedding this weekend!

this weekend is nick and beth's wedding (nick is jordan's college roommate, beth is my good friend too!) in oxford and i couldn't be MORE excited!!! i'm so happy to be a part of this whole process for them and it's just going to be so amazing to see them get married on saturday. they are the first in our little miami group to get hitched. so weird, but so so good. i love them both! and they are just perfect together. colby and addy will be there too, it's about dang time we are reunited. i am taking off friday and J and i are driving down friday morning. can't WAIT! i love weddings! can't wait until its my turn :)

still sort of stressing out about the whole job/cincinnati thing. found out today my friend who i want to live with down there has to sign her renewed lease by june 1st or her rent goes up. and i just can't commit until i have a job since i have no money. so looks like i won't be living with her. which sucks. obviously i won't have a job lined up by june 1st. got some semi-good news from cinci though- the last job i applied for in feb there had a status of "route" for my online application forrrever, and apparently that means it i got passed the first round, and someone was looking at my application, i just didn't get picked for an interview. that's a start i suppose.

so please say a prayer something comes up. i know it will happen in His timing, but i hate this feeling like i'm never going to get out of this place that i've been stuck in since november. and that i'm never going to be in the same place as J.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


well i was informed by my oh so caring boyfriend that i never use the word "bandwagon" correctly haha apparently that is not how you use it in the last post i had. i'm just going to stop using it all together because i feel stupid when i use it and he corrects me (which is every time i try to say it!) oh bother....

i moved to michigan last weekend. our house is really nice but needed a lot of cleaning. so i spent allll day monday scrubbing blinds, washing windows and scrubbing kitchen cabinets. i felt very domestic. it's kind of weird to me that i am going to have a boy roommate for the first time and it's not my husband, but i suppose it will be very vague practice in having a male roommate before i get married haha. jordan stayed all weekend helping me unpack, run errands, grocery shop, and he deserves one thousand gold stars for putting up with me yet again during a move. i am not the most pleasant person when i don't know where i am, how to get places, etc. he left sunday night and it was one of the hardest byes thus far...i hate being somewhere i am so disoriented to. and i live in a fairly safe area...however it's no troy. we did get to babysit the fam i watch in birmingham...sophie has grown SO much and took to me right away! yay! makenna kept trying to put pink lip gloss on jordan...so cute :) it was cute to see J play with the girls too!

i'm looking forward to the weekend to see baby sister go to her LAST prom (weird!) in her beautiful dress and have a fam cookout for tay's birthday and mother's day. i miss charlie too!! i'm so glad i'm only moving to cincinnati in august...i am too much of a homebody to be so far away from home. ha. that's all for now!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


so i've fallen off the blogging bandwagon. whoops. i've sort of got stuck in a dry funk this last month or so. haven't wanted to write in here, write in my journal (in over a month! that's huge for me!) or read my bible. or read anything else for that matter. no wonder i've been so crabby lately. i'm not pleasant when i get stuck in these ruts. i get pessimistic, hopeless, grumpy, impatient...the list goes on. i look at what everyone else has and think that i will never have these things (a JOB, get married, pay off loans, you get my point). and i hate that. i look at other people's lives and think "if only mine was like this, or like that, i would be happy..." REALITY CHECK MEGAN! not true! side note-i don't really believe i won't ever have those things, i just get impatient.

so i'm jumping back in headfirst and digging into Him this week. i hate these dry spells where i don't feel Him around me. or constantly focus on other people's lives. i need to start believing that the promises of the Lord are true, not just for other people, but for ME too. He wants to bless me. i don't write this to sound self-centered, or focused on myself...but it's difficult for me to freely accept that the Lord truly wants to bless me and will follow through on His promises over my life. i pray these things over others all the time, but it's hard for me to wholeheartedly accept them and believe these things will come to me as well.

i really dislike how difficult it is to jump back in once i've put things off for a while. it doesn't make sense to me because of course i want to be spending time with the Lord again, be in the Word...but i keep putting it off. it's easier to sit down in front of a tv and not spend time journaling or reading. sad. no more though, my heart needs to jump in again and stay there. i don't like who i am apart from God.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

poor trees

so i when i was running yesterday, i ran my typical 4 mile route and ran by this house that was cutting down a perfectly healthy, rather large tree!! i get upset when people cut down trees for no apparent reason. (granted maybe there WAS a reason, i just don't know it) so toooday when i ran the same route, they were cutting down the same tree on the opposite side of the house!! ahh!! i wanted to run up and ask what the heck are you doing?! maybe i sound like a major tree hugger, buuuut this really makes me angry! i put up a fuss when my parents cut down a tree in our front yard. i put up a fuss whenever my parents change anything from when i was a kid though (new refrigerator, new couches, etc. i know weird...)

anyways, i guess my post has no real point. but i do think God had a TON of fun creating nature and animals. seriously, how cool of a job does He have? He got to do whatever He wanted! Sure, humans are pretty, but not too much to play around with. but with flowers, plants, animals, He got to do whatever He wanted. i think God most likely has a big sense of humor :) see below!

i don't even know what this top animal is!

porcupines, how funny!

i didn't mean God didn't have fun creating us haha i just think He probably had so much fun creating all these creatures around us! can i get a hoorah for this amazing 80 degree weather we've had recently?! i love it.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

its official!

i'm moving back to michigan! (who woulda thunk?!) i got the official ok from the big dietitian boss at children's hospital and i'm doing the pediatric fellowship there. i am SO excited to finally get the chance to work with kids! and for longer than a two week rotation. annd i can't wait to write a note and sign it with, Megan Comer, R.D. how exciting is that?! weird that i have letters after my name. too bad they haven't gotten me a paying job thus far...ugh.

i know this fellowship is a gift and i think i'm very blessed to be doing it because they are not publicly offering it since they did not receive any grant money this year. but the fact that i did not have to interview for it and am not getting paid one single penny to do it keeps messing with my head. which i know sounds stupid, but its how my head works. i keep thinking, oh this is a last resort because no one wants to hire me. BUT i know that this is where i'm supposed to be, as much as its not any fun to be working pro bono once again. it's what i want for my career and this will give me an excellent foot in the door when i try to get a peds position. and i prayed for clarity with what i was suppose to choose, and then i got rejected from all the applications i had out and was not offered the Akron position. pretty straight forward right? i was still mad at God though for getting rejected. funny how we pray for these things and when they aren't exactly what we really want or think we need, we get mad at Him. sorry God.

anyways, i'm starting probably one month from today and living with ryann's boyfriend john who's doing an internship at the dearborn police dept. ha! kind of funny, but it will work out well, i'll def feel safer living with him! off to watch new moon with tay tay :) so glad my family is home from vaca, i missed them a lot. happy easter!

Monday, March 29, 2010

good weekend.

i had a great weekend. jordan came and kept me company as half of my family is currently in Jamaica and left me home to dogsit. (i am getting paid though, so i'm somewhat ok with it ha) we celebrated our three year anniversary since it's this wednesday and we won't see each other. i made him one of my quilts and i'm pretty sure he liked it a lot! we went out to dinner saturday night in toledo and i found a fabulous pair of grey work pants at gap which i have been searching and searching for!

the only sucky part is the whole goodbye part. i am so incredibly sick of this long-distance stuff. going on two years of it now and it's just sort of annoying. it definitely has been a blessing being able to spend a week here and there with him and his family, but still...i can't wait to be in the same place. to do normal stuff together on a regular basis, like grocery shop, cook, take a walk, just have a regular relationship. until then...hooray for seeing each other on the weekends. someday...

Thursday, March 25, 2010


so i'm struggling today. i got rejected from yet another job. a full-time job i was maybe hoping to at least get an interview out of. however, i did get good news that i can do this pediatric fellowship at the Children's Hospital of Michigan (even though there is no grant money to be given to me, hooray for working for free, story of my life). even though i am 95% sure i am going to do this fellowship (because really for me, working with kids is the only thing i can think of that i have always LOVED doing), it still sucks to be rejected for the millionth time. i know it's not me. it's not that i'm not smart enough or i couldn't do the job. but its still a blow to me every time it happens. for those of you job searching, you know what i'm talking about. if you're in school right now, praise God you don't have to look for a job yet in this sucky job market. i had a break down today so i took a hot shower and reminded myself to prayer because when i get into a freak out mode, i forget to do that.

and even though i don't know exactly what's going to happen in the next six months, i know that i have a family (and friends) who would bend over backwards for me. and i have a God that is still right beside me even when i don't understand and He is good. and He will provide, maybe not exactly in the ways i want Him to, but He will. and i'll remember this when i find myself faltering:

so let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. there we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. hebrews 4:16

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


so i've had a couple people pray over me the last couple of months that outpouring is coming into my life soon, that seasons are going to be changing. it has been cool to watch that play out and see it happen. i always have struggled with feeling peace and having patience. i feel like God's theme for my life is waiting. sometimes i get frustrated with this, but i've been learning to embrace it rather than push it away and through this i've been able to experience peace a lot more. go figure. i need things to be planned out for me, to know how things are going to play out and in what order, but the Lord doesn't work like that.

through my frustration though, i get attacked by the enemy convincing me of things that aren't true about God. like He doesn't really care that much about me, i'm not good enough for His favor, or He isn't going to come through for me. i just listened to a podcast about suffering, perserverance and sacrifice by Kris Vallotton (they are free on Itunes, download him!) and he said this:"don't changethe nature of God just because you don't understand." this is what i've been clinging to (that and His word of course) lately. remembering that He is good, the essence of who God is is love. i am learning to praise Him amidst my struggles and remember the grace i am given for today is enough. my life is relatively simple right now. i'm not married yet, i don't have huge financial burdens, no kids, so i am thankful i am learning how to find peace and perseverance now, so when i need it even more, i will be even more confident in Him and His goodness.

stay where you remain,
do not fall, do not fall.
something greater is on the way,
just hang on, try to hang on.
DCB 'the veil'

Friday, March 19, 2010


yuck, i hate interviews. i don't like the formality of them, i don't like how they make my insides feel before i step into the office/room where i will be interviewed and i don't like actually feeling my blood and adrenaline pumping through my veins, its creepy. i had an interview at akron city hospital yesterday. everyone keeps asking me how it went, but honestly i have NO clue. i felt OK about it after i left, but then starting freaking out last night because it was short that they just wrote me off pretty quickly. it was not super formal as i thought it would be which was nice, but not a lot of questions pertaining to my knowledge of being a clinical dietitian were asked. i hoped i put off that i was confident, because i was. but i just don't know. so please pray it went well. i got a great feeling about the hospital and its programs, and really think it would an awesome starting point.

i also got offered a job at american eagle (my lifelong dream!). ha not. i called to let the manager know i would have to wait until i heard back from this other interview and she said "well, that's why i asked why you wanted to work here,that's why i asked that in your interview. we really want people who want to work at american eagle with today's trends and if we're second on your list then i don't know if we can use you." REALLY?! come on. i have a college education, an internship AND im a registered dietitian, all of which she knows. i haven't gone through all of that to work at AE and know the "trends" of today AND make 7.30 an hour. so needless to say, i won't be sad if i call back next week and they don't offer me the job again.

before my interview i prayed that my interview would go well and asked for a peace either way-that if i get the job, that's awesome. but if i don't, that i might feel just a tiny bit of disappointment, but know that there is something else. i have no control over this and just hope that something about me stuck out over other candidates. for now i'm going to enjoy my weekend in c-town with jordan and his family and celebrating the twin's birthday on sunday! :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010


so i'm in my friends nick and beth's wedding in may and her shower/bachelorette party was this weekend! it was a a blast. the party was pretty low key (exactly my style of party! haha) and the shower was a lot of fun. i made these really fun sunflower cupcakes. nick was jordan's roommate in college and that's how beth and i became friends. they are super awesome and are both very eco-friendly centered people. so i was pretty pumped when i found these perfect recycled glass wine glasses for them. oh and J and i got them the perfect wedding present for may!! do you get excited when you find the perfect present for someone? i sure do! i do like getting presents (can't wait for my own wedding shower!), but i love giving perfect presents. i get frustrated when i can't think of a good present for someone because i don't like to give gifts just to give them. im so incredibly excited to be in this wedding and see two of my best friends get married. its been amazing to see them come this far; i love being involved in this part of people's lives. i'm pretty emotional too (ambs, i lost it at your wedding!!)

here's my little rant session-at dinner tonight my sister said that they passed a billboard coming home from florida in alabama that said "if you don't go to church, the devil will find you". and was telling us about some students down there (i'm assuming on some mission spring break trip) who were giving students rides back from the bars at night. this is all well and good, except one of them one night attempted to "save" my sister, bf and a group of her friends while taking them back to the hotel. he grabbed two girls hands and started praying for them without asking them. i have a problem with this type of thing. YES i love the Lord, yes i want people to be able to experience Him and have a relationship with Him. but i get angry at people (even with good intentions) who try to force it on people. it's what turns people off. it ruins what the heart of the Lord truly is and who He is. i'm not perfect and i have made plenty of mistakes in the past, many of which i still struggle with. but i want to spread truth, not force my beliefs on someone. it's about a relationship, not a set of rules to follow or just going to church every sunday (which yes, i do think church is important of course).

i do believe the Lord changes people's heart, even those you may think will not ever change. i do believe we should spread His message, however, i do not think it is our place to change people's minds for them by trying to spread His message through desperation, with force or through threats (i.e. you're going to hell). this only gives the enemy more of a foot in the door in turning people away from Him. any thoughts?

Friday, March 12, 2010


so i love running. i think most people know that. i've ran 4 half marathons and a full marathon and it is so incredibly addicting. if you are not a runner, i know what you are thinking..."you are crazy, it is not addicting and i detest running". (churchie maybe?! ha!) but really, it is addicting. now when i started running, i did hate it. i hated it with a fiery passion-just ask my roommate colby. my first half marathon was not the prettiest thing in the world and i was praising God when i got to stop and didn't want to run ever again. i cried during my full because i was beyond exhaustion and in pain and swore i wouldn't do another full for a long time.

, my running bug has set in again and i want to do a full this fall (not spring because a.it was too cold to train early enough and b.i have NO money for an entry fee!). i think about every GOOD run i had while training last year, the feeling when i accomplished my first 20 mile run (and peed my pants! hehe), and how fun is was to discover the town i was living in (Troy, Mi) through my running. plus running for me is perfect God time. i stick some worship music on my ipod shuffle (lovingly given to me by jordan, best present EVER) and off i go. no one else but me, my feet and Him for however long i am out. i DO like to run sometimes with people, but i love that its such a good de-stressor and alone time. plus i got to watch my amazing little sister finish her first half and getting the running bug too which was almost better than finishing my full! i was SO proud.

i guess this post doesn't have much purpose, other than telling you how much i love running. i think it's important for everyone to have a healthy outlet such as running to de-stress. exercising does the body wonders. really.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

strong love.

so i graduated my old blog for this one. who knows if i'll keep up with it or if anyone reads it, but here it goes! i love this song by the beatles and decided to name my blog it because it's my life motto right now which so many unknowns and what-ifs.

i realize the following post is going to make me sound incredibly naive and perhaps somewhat spoiled, so please bear with me. lately, my little eyes have been slowly been opened to how much MONEY everything costs. everything. i'll admit, i have been spoiled growing up and still am to a large extent. i'm thankful beyond words for everything, every experience and every memory my parents have provided me thus far in life. i have amazing memories of family vacations, have had awesome christmases, and have been blessed with a college education. but being on the wall teetering towards true adulthood, i am totally freaking out about the cord being cut. how am I supposed to completely support myself? how do i pay for rent, water, electricity, my cell phone, car payments, loans, food, gas, etc? perhaps this will seem slightly more doable when i know what making more than 7.50 an hour feels like, but still.

im a details person. i think about evvvverything, especially things i shouldn't be worrying about yet. (like how the heck am i going to save enough money to send my children to college? really megan? you aren't even engaged yet.) and most of this is done in my head or in my journal, only a few people have been blessed with hearing these ridiculous worries. BUT the good news is, despite my extreme ridiculousness, the Lord is right there next to me whenever i snap out of freaking out and realize "oh yeah, i can't do this on my own, duh." every time, He is there without fail. there is not one single time He has not come through or provided for me in my time of need.

and it's more than "letting go and letting God" or whatever that phrase is...it's about my relationship with Him. it's not simply about letting God; He gives us free will and it's about that choice to realize i can't do this apart from Him; i will shrink down and fail miserably. but realizing that i can do this through Him. i know life isn't perfect and i'm learning more and more that i can't make it fit to the specifications i think are best for me. i'm learning how to find peace in that and keep my hope that the destiny i have in Him is better than anything i can think of (even if that's hard for me to comprehend sometimes).

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
let Your kingdom come in my world
and in my life.

so why should i worry?
why do i freak out?
God knows what i need
You know what i need.
-jon foreman 'your love is strong'
(amazing song, download it.)