so i graduated my old blog for this one. who knows if i'll keep up with it or if anyone reads it, but here it goes! i love this song by the beatles and decided to name my blog it because it's my life motto right now which so many unknowns and what-ifs.
i realize the following post is going to make me sound incredibly naive and perhaps somewhat spoiled, so please bear with me. lately, my little eyes have been slowly been opened to how much MONEY everything costs. everything. i'll admit, i have been spoiled growing up and still am to a large extent. i'm thankful beyond words for everything, every experience and every memory my parents have provided me thus far in life. i have amazing memories of family vacations, have had awesome christmases, and have been blessed with a college education. but being on the wall teetering towards true adulthood, i am totally freaking out about the cord being cut. how am I supposed to completely support myself? how do i pay for rent, water, electricity, my cell phone, car payments, loans, food, gas, etc? perhaps this will seem slightly more doable when i know what making more than 7.50 an hour feels like, but still.
im a details person. i think about evvvverything, especially things i shouldn't be worrying about yet. (like how the heck am i going to save enough money to send my children to college? really megan? you aren't even engaged yet.) and most of this is done in my head or in my journal, only a few people have been blessed with hearing these ridiculous worries. BUT the good news is, despite my extreme ridiculousness, the Lord is right there next to me whenever i snap out of freaking out and realize "oh yeah, i can't do this on my own, duh." every time, He is there without fail. there is not one single time He has not come through or provided for me in my time of need.
and it's more than "letting go and letting God" or whatever that phrase is...it's about my relationship with Him. it's not simply about letting God; He gives us free will and it's about that choice to realize i can't do this apart from Him; i will shrink down and fail miserably. but realizing that i can do this through Him. i know life isn't perfect and i'm learning more and more that i can't make it fit to the specifications i think are best for me. i'm learning how to find peace in that and keep my hope that the destiny i have in Him is better than anything i can think of (even if that's hard for me to comprehend sometimes).
You always amaze me
let Your kingdom come in my world
and in my life.
so why should i worry?
why do i freak out?
God knows what i need
You know what i need.
-jon foreman 'your love is strong'
(amazing song, download it.)